Edward Russell
Now we all know fashion trends come and go, but for some unknown reason these specific trends are still around and I’m confused (and frustrated). They are pointless, and to put it simply – stupid. They’re nearly as bad as Kylie Jenner’s lip challenge, and I’ve had enough. It’s about time these trends just go; they just need to leave, exit, and perish. Let’s begin.
Beanies with offensive text – or beanies that make you look like a squid
Ok I get it your head’s cold. Or is it? This trend is becoming ridiculous and people are starting to wear beanies even when it’s warm outside! Stop kidding yourselves, I know you’re sweating, you can take that beanie off. Don’t get me started on the text. Bitch don’t kill my vibe, Cocaine & Caviar or FUKK. Seriously, I can’t deal. This pointless fashion statement is taking over. If I see one more selfie of a girl pouting with her “Bitch don’t kill my vibe” beanie, I swear I’ll never wear a beanie again. STOP IT.
Chokers
Secondly, I’d like to cover this pointless trend: The Choker. I’d like to know who reintroduced the choker, and I’d like to ask them what the hell they were thinking. It was cool when I was 9, and would read T.V HITS, IN 1999! BUT IT’S 2015 NOW! “OMG, where did you get your choker from? It’s totally sick”. Then all of a sudden every girl is an indie jewellery maker selling these chokers and charging triple the price for a piece of elastic. This pretentious trend needs to end. I’m all for punk and grunge and am proud to say I’m a 90’s kid; I love Nirvana and the Spice Girls. But this goes beyond that. It’s a piece of elastic that’s choking your neck. I don’t get it.
Harem Pants
Please people, stop wearing Harem Pants. They are hideous and they hurt my eyes. Genie pants, harem pants, whatever you want to call them, I’m done. No, you can’t dress them up either; nothing can make these awkward pants look any good. They are made for the bin, and that’s it. I don’t understand the drooping sack element to them either. What’s it there for? It looks wrong. Poo catchers, just saying…
These pants are so cringe worthy, I couldn’t choose just one image to emphasize my overwhelming hatred towards them.
Midi-Sets
A night on the town is not complete without a midi-set and your galfriends (said in high pitch tone). Every girl and her dog seems to be thrashing this look, but I honestly think it’s time that this trend also dies. Typical midi-set pose is shown here, and I’m sure you can see where my hatred stems from. Stop attempting to be a Kardashian and change your outfit. I’m all for crops; I love a bit of midriff action, but I’ve had enough of this matching nonsense. Particularly because women aren’t ashamed of wearing the same outfit as every other female in the same room anymore. What’s happening to the world? Don’t you want to stand out? Where is your style? What is your style? The midi-set is totally cheapening fashion, and is stealing girls’ sense of identity and creative flair. The female race is content with looking the same as their counter-part, who knew? I am shocked and disgusted to say the least. Do yourselves a favour and throw your midi- set in the bin. P.s stop posing like this on Instagram. P.P.S I actually like some midi-skirts and co-ordinates, just not this type as pictured.
Gladiator Sandals
If you want to dress like Caesar on Halloween then by all means rock the gladiator shoes, but if not, then just don’t. These sandals are incredibly pointless and I would never voluntarily want a shoe squeezing my calves like this. How uncomfortable. I’m all for heels and sacrificing comfort for style, but where is the sense of style in these monstrous things. Let me put it simply, these sandals are ugly. There is not much else I can say about this ridiculous piece of footwear. Why put your calves under so much stress and torture by wearing these. Your legs and feet deserve better. I’m just going to put it out there, I would rather wear crocs than wear these, and that’s saying something.
Bandage Dress/ Cut out outfits
Now where should I start with this idiotic dress; the neon colour, the bandage dress in general, or the pointless chest cut-out that makes no sense whatsoever. I know I may sound negative here and sure, I’m all for freedom of choice; wear this stupid dress if you want. I’m just saying what I feel. It’s nothing to do with you, it’s just the dress. Seriously, I really hate it. I thought the bandage dress was pretty lame on its own, but this just tops it off for me. It’s like a triple whammy of outfit yucks (and I’m not sure that’s even a word). I don’t understand this new trend of cut-outs in dresses, and never will quite comprehend why they are there, or not there, literally speaking. Let’s just create a dress with a massive hole in the chest area to make your cleavage the main focal point of who you are. Leave it for the bedroom. You can probably find something like this in a dingy lingerie shop for half the price. Save your pennies and your dignity and don’t wear or buy this dress, ever.
The Kaftan
It’s not that the Kaftan is terrible or ugly, it’s just that it’s really annoying. You know when some really random things just frustrate you for no real reason? Well the Kaftan is like that for me. I just really dislike them and also find them pointless, not to mention really expensive. I am aware that there is a designer in particular who’s Kaftans are over $300. I just don’t understand that at all. I love fashion and don’t get me wrong, I spend a bit on designer pieces, but I feel like the price of a designer Kaftan is a trap. There’s been times I’ve seen images of these Kaftans and assumed they were from a cheap everyday tourist shop, only to find they have been priced as much as a designer hand-bag. I just see no relevance in the Kaftan. The few aspects of the Kaftan that annoy me the most are the tacky prints. Paisley and over-whelming animal prints are just not my thing. I also really dislike their cut and design; you’re not a Greek goddess.
Sneaker Wedges or Sneaker Heels
Let me get this straight, you’re wearing a sneaker with a wedge or heel; stop right there. I honestly really hate these shoes and don’t understand why people are still wearing these. No matter how cool or fashion forward you think you look, the fashion wedge is just a stupid piece of footwear that needs to die. Not only are celebrities wearing these with mismatched outfits, people are now following suit and feel the need to purchase these ridiculously overpriced sneakers that are supposedly changing our perception of what dressy/casual really is. It’s infuriating. I also think they make your legs look like tree stumps (unless you’re stick thin and tall). If you’re short or in the middle like me, then steer away from the sneaker wedge because it’s only going to make you look like an oompa loompa with really bad taste in footwear. If you want to wear sneakers then just wear sneakers! If you want to wear heels, then please WEAR HEELS. Do not wear these. I’ve had enough of seeing girls posing on Instagram sitting crossed legged showing off their “hot” new wedge sneakers. Or the classic standing pose with one leg straight and the other slightly bent with their toes pointing toward the floor, hand bag hanging off the elbow or in hand with head slightly tilted. I’m sure you’re envisaging what I’m saying, and if not then go on Instagram and search #sneakerwedge. That is all.
Pin-up girl/ Rockabilly / retro fashion
Ok I get it, you’re unique, alternative and really love tattoos, but I’m really sick of your look. I remember when this image and style suddenly became popular, and I was actually once a fan. Always having liked the retro and vintage era from a young age, I dabbled with the style here and there, however that was 5 years ago. It’s 2015 now and girls are over doing this trend and saturating every public place with their annoying op shop rags and short blunt cut fringes; your forehead looks awkward and alien-like. A fringe should just touch the eyebrows in my opinion. I think everyone should pay their respects to the iconic 50’s and its icons, and leave this trend behind or stop manipulating it with rockabilly overload.
It’s funny, because everyone claims they want to look different. They try so hard to stand out, that they end up looking all the same. And why does every girl have to be covered in tattoos? Cupcakes, swallows, sparrows, bows, anchors or lyrics to their favourite songs cause they’re so deep and misunderstood. It’s like there are pre-requisites one must possess to fit in, almost like a university degree. I’m not hating on everything to do with this trend, and I am all for those who genuinely like all things regarding this era. I actually feel sorry for those who have always enjoyed this style, only to have every little copy-cat ruin it for you. I know people say “I did that before it became cool”, but in this regard I believe the girls who claim this. A scene can be a vicious thing, particularly when it comes to the female race. Not only is this trend over done, but it’s also really bloody annoying. Wherever I go now I am surrounded by identical human beings, making me feel like I’m weird for dressing and looking completely different to them. Ironic. Oh and you know how you supposedly LOVE Sailor Jerry rum and vegan burritos, WELL SO DOES EVERY OTHER GIRL WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU.
Baywatch bathing suit – Camel Toe galore
Last but not least, I’d like to express my incredible hatred towards this horrendous bathing suit. How can anyone find this appealing? It is cringe worthy, and I don’t care how much you want to show off your curves; please put a normal bathing suit on. Baywatch is over and I don’t think David Hasselhoff is making any plans to star in a next generation series, thank god. Not only do people look completely stupid wearing this swim suit, but it pains me to look at them; I feel embarrassed for them. I know women will go on and on about embracing their curves, and that’s great! I think we should all treasure our bodies. In saying that, do yourself a favour and buy a new swimsuit because you’re putting your front end through torture and discomfort and I know you’re pretending to hide that ultimate front wedgie. I don’t care if you want to be like the Kardashians, they look ridiculous as it is so why aspire to be like them? Back in the day Pamela Anderson in Baywatch was the ultimate “it girl”, and look where that landed her – with Hep C and a really bad barbed wire arm tattoo.
To wrap it up, these trends and fashion statements need to disappear. I’m really starting to question our future path as a human race in the fashion world. Before I begin listing any more putrid trends, I best stop myself because I’d take up your day (Yes it doesn’t stop here!). Until next time folks…
